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Winter 1993
NAMASTE,
In this newsletter I’ll continue with the ongoing discussion of the student/teacher relationship which began last spring. Thus far I have talked about the first two of the four issues that I described as primary aspects of the relationship: trust, respect, personality, and power. That brings us to the question of personality.
Why am I considering personality as an important issue in the student/teacher relationship? Primarily because, rightly or wrongly, it colors much of the interaction between the teacher and the student, and also because it seems to be the source of much confusion and dispute. What role does personality play in the practice of Yoga and in the relationship between student and teacher? What role should it play? How much attention should we give it?
Since I have relied up to this point on Webster’s II New Riverside Dictionary to define terms, I’ll continue to do so. Personality is defined therein as “[t]he distinctive qualities and traits of an individual.”
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In Western society personality is very important. We place a lot of emphasis on having a “ good personality”. Indeed much of the vast psychotherapy industry is concerned with helping us get our personalities well-adjusted. We often elevate our entertainers to “star” status because of it. We choose many of our cultural heroes according to it. Lots of us even elect our political leaders largely as a result of how we perceive their personalities. And of course a huge industry exists to create the sort of image or personality that these movers and shakers think we want to see.
In Yoga, however, personality is considered as more of either an amusement or a nuisance than anything else. The reason for this lies in the definition: “the distinctive qualities and traits of an individual.”
The fundamental concern of Yoga being to develop awareness of Reality and to establish us in our true nature, pure consciousness, from the Yogic point of view that which makes “distinct” and “individual”, our personality, is actually the stuff of illusion; it is unReal, Maya.
While on one level we are all unique as snowflakes, on another level, just as each snowflake ultimately finds its way to the ocean, Yoga says that we too ultimately merge with the infinite ocean of Reality. Still, before they slip into the sea, snowflakes can both slick the streets and set the steeples asparkle. Likewise, before we slip into the infinite ocean of Reality, our and others’ personalities can cause us to cuddle or cringe. What we need to be careful about to avoid confusion in our discussion is mixing levels.
What does all this have to do with the student/teacher relationship?
For the student it is tempting and commonplace to choose a teacher based on that teacher’s personality. I like him/her, or I don’t. There is actually some merit in choosing this way, at least in the beginning. If we choose someone we like, we are much more likely to be receptive to what they are offering. We’ll hear what they say and follow their lead. But of much more importance is what the teacher knows and how well she/he can lead us toward a deeper experience of Yoga. Unfortunately, the ability to do this well doesn’t always go with a pleasing personality.
I’ll use my experience with my teacher, Mr. Iyengar, as an example. As with my feelings toward everybody else in my life, there are things about Mr. Iyengar’s personality that I like, and things I don’t like. Actually for the most part I like his personality a lot. But plenty of people don’t. Many people perceive him as temperamental, arrogant, and harsh. In fact, that’s very much how I saw him when I first studied with him. After I finished my first three-week intensive, I was determined not to go back. . Yet six months later I was writing to return to study with him again.
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Why?
Because in that six months my yoga practice had changed more than at any other time during the eleven years I had been practicing. I didn’t like him much (while at the same time being fascinated by him), but Mr. Iyengar had unquestionably made a remarkable difference in my practice and in me. A year later I was back in India. I have been back three more times since then. My opinion of Mr. Iyengar’s personality is much different than it was after that first visit. He still does things that I don’t like, but I have had enough time and experience with the man to come to love him. Even so, that is not the main reason I go back. The main reason I return is that each time I do, my practice changes and grows significantly.
On the other side of the equation, teachers can be drawn and deterred by students’ personalities. Truth be told, all of us who are teachers have students whom we like and students whom we don’t like. Each of us bases our likes and dislikes on different reasons, but being human, we have our preferences. Again, to use my relationship with Mr. Iyengar as an example, I think Mr. Iyengar, for whatever reason, likes me. When I am in his class, I get a lot attention (a mixed blessing); he uses me to demonstrate things; he was willing to be a guest in my home. Similarly, I have students whom, for various reasons, I give more attention to, use to demonstrate things, talk with outside of class.
On the reverse side of the coin I have seen Mr. Iyengar ignore or be obviously irritated with some students, and I confess to having responded to some of my own students in similar fashion.
As I said, teachers are human, most of them anyway. But just as it is important for the student not to be swayed from the task at hand by the teacher’s personality, it is just as important for the teacher not to be distracted by the student’s personality. Both teacher and student must work, by being constantly observant and one-pointed, to see past the distraction of personality, delightful or irritating though it may be, and direct their eye and their energies toward recognizing and uncovering the Light that radiates from within.
I wish you a holiday season blessed with the peaceful company of family and friends and a new year of Love and Light.
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